I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
