my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
