bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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