I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
