are you still at the devil's house?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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