Moan for me like Helen Keller
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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