Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
