it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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