Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
