So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
