We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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