pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
