bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
50% drunk capacity currently
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
