No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
