Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
