i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
