God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
love makes seman taste better
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
