just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
