therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
