My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Randomize
