this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You ate ashes out of my bong
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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