wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
