I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
