I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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