I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
