Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
