Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
