What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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