Porn is love you can see.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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