Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
