What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
