i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
