I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
