Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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