Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
