When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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