just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
