Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
