I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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