Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
