Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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