My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
