I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
