she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
