How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
