where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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