spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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