I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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