her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
