oh god the rape fog is back!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize