It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
