hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
