Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize