Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
