i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
