ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
