you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
